PROJECT TITLE: "BORN LOSER: LOSING TO WIN" - PUPPY LOVE: THE SUMMER OF 1972

Sunny was just a playful twelve year old studying in the sixth grade of a reputed school in Madras. Even as a young boy Sunny was passionate about arts and spent more time with books and music while neglecting his textbooks.

His interest in music had made his parents put Sunny in a classical choir at their neighbourhood church which the entire family attended and Sunny would go there regularly for practice and also to the actual Church Services on Sundays. Practice sessions were between six to eight in the evenings on Tuesdays and Fridays while actual Church services were from seven thirty to ten in the mornings and six to seven thirty in the evenings on Sundays.

Sunny was very diligent and would attend practice sessions without fail. Whenever he left for practice and returned Sunny could feel the gaze of hidden eyes from the window of the corner house at the end of his street. Though he could not find out who was watching him he knew for sure that someone was gazing upon him. Soon his neighbour's children informed him that there lived a girl of his age named Sunanda in that house.

One day while playing with his neighbour's kids, Sunanda dropped by since his neighbour's daughter was Sunanda’s classmate and Sunny set his eyes on her for the first time when they were formally introduced to each other by his neighbour’s daughter. Sunny was too young to understand the significance of love at first sight but he found himself strangely attracted to Sunanda. I can tell you that certainly sparks did fly and Sunny could not avert his eyes from her.

Sunanda too seemed to find a kindred spirit in Sunny and soon they  became the best of friends and whenever Sunny went past her house on his way to choir practice or Church service, Sunanda would look out the window and wave to him. On his return from practice he would find Sunanda waiting near the gate of her house and he would stop and talk for awhile before going home. This became a regular ritual and on days when Sunny did not have practice or did not have to go to church Sunanda would drop by at Sunny’s neighbour's house and they would meet up there as they played the games that kids of their age used to play in those days.

Sunny and Sunanda remained best of friends for over two years and hid nothing from each other. Sometimes Sunny’s choir would sing at weddings and would be gifted money by the bridal family. Sunny would use the money to buy Sunanda gifts but the best gift that Sunanda always treasured was the few flowers that Sunny would pick up from those used for the marriage decorations and bring for her.

That summer Sunny appeared for his eighth grade exams in April of 1972 and Sunny’s Mom forced Sunny to study hard. She did not allow him to even go to his choir practice. This frustrated Sunanda and unable to be without seeing Sunny she picked up a few hard boiled candies and went upto Sunny’s door and rang the bell. Sunny’s Mom who opened the door was surprised by the young girl who wanted to meet Sunny.

You must remember that this happened in the early nineteen seventies and in those days a boy and girl being friendly was frowned upon by the elders. Sunanda glibly said, “Aunty, it is my Birthday and I want to give Sunny some sweets”. Sunny’s Mom called Sunny. Sunny knowing that Sunanda was lying for her Birthday was only in July went to meet her and in the pretext of wishing her spent a few minutes with her.

That summer of 1972 was the best that Sunny ever spent and he and Sunanda were together for most of the time. She began to visit Sunny’s house regularly on some pretext or the other and Sunny’s Mom didn’t know what to do. Whenever, Sunny crossed Sunanda’s house they would stand near the gate and talk for long hours. It was during one such meeting that Sunanda told Sunny that she wanted to tell him something but hesitated and told him that she would tell him the next evening.

Sunny was excited for he felt that Sunanda was about to proclaim her love for him. The next evening Sunny rushed to Sunanda’s house but found the gate locked. His neighbours later told him that Sunanda’s father had incurred a loss in his business and had declared insolvency in a court of law for non-repayment of loans. His father had fled the town leaving behind his wife and daughter. Nobody knew where poor Sunanda and her mother went.

Sunny searched and searched far and wide but could never find Sunanda ever again.

PROJECT TITLE: "BORN LOSER: LOSING TO WIN" - CHAPTER SIX

The boy’s name was Sunny; he was hardly five years old and trudging to the nearby nursery school while a young girl hardly fourteen years of age hopped and skipped as she carried his school bag and held on to his hand on the way to school.

Sunny hated school. He especially hated an Anglo-Indian teacher named Mrs. Smith who was a stern middle aged lady. In her skirt and stockinged shoes she was a towering six feet and was indeed a formidable personality. She was of the view that left handedness was a result of wrong conditioning at birth. She therefore tried to correct all left handed young children by rapping them on the knuckles of their left hand with a ruler while exhorting them to write with their right hand and extolling the values of writing with their right hands.

Poor Sunny had a tough time with this lady, for indeed Sunny was left handed. As a result, Mrs. Smith used to rap his knuckles repeatedly. Sunny was therefore depressed and frustrated. He was not deliberately left handed. He was just being the way he was and Mrs. Smith wouldn’t let him. Sunny soon started feeling ashamed of himself. He knew he could never ever write with his right hand and found no way out of getting his knuckles rapped continuously, all his life. A kind of guilt and fear came into his existence. Fear of school and the guilt of being different.

Sunny’s mother was Maggie and Maggie was the same infant’s mother who was a Professor at a College run by Catholic Sisters of a particular order in Madras. Maggie had developed a kind of distrust & hatred for maid servants & became harsh with such servants. Maggie, had somehow managed to find maid after maid to baby sit Sunny in his formative years. However, she was a bit more relaxed these days, since Sunny had started going to school at the age of three and now spent most of his waking hours in school. The maid’s daughter would go to school and drop Sunny in the morning at nine in the morning and later pick him up from school at 1:30 pm in the afternoon. Later when the child started going to school she dispensed with the services of all maids & began to do all the household chores herself in addition to her work at the college.

Once he returned home, Sunny would be a bundle of energy and kept burning up the excess energy within the confines of his small home and much smaller backyard. The street outside was only filled with street urchins and Sunny had no proper companion to play with. At times, when he was too bored and restless Sunny would go stand at the front door and watch the activities of





























 the slum dwellers who literally lived off the streets. The street which was more an alley was named Thiru Gramani Street, in memory of some ancient who had once lived there. Sunny had been born in a Christian missionary hospital in Mylapore as it was far cheaper than the other private hospitals.

His father, Amos Ammarkallam for that was his name had brought his wife Maggie and little Sunny to the house in Thiru Gramani street, when Sunny was barely six months old. The house was rented cheaply as it came under the government’s rent control act of those days. The only reason Amos had taken the house was that it was near his wife’s college.

When Sunny had been born the lady doctor had seriously warned Amos that his wife’s uterus was very weak. “She should not strain too much”, the lady doctor had cautioned. Amos had always wanted a second child but his wife’s condition put paid to his desires. After Maggie had come to this house, she had an abortion when Sunny was about two years old. There was a lot of bleeding and Amos was only too grateful that his wife had made it alive. It was at that moment that Amos asked his wife to quit her job, but Maggie stood her ground and stubbornly refused, since she knew that she could not give her child the quality of life that she wanted him to have with her husband’s meagre Government salary.

Maggie had spent her childhood in rough weather conditions. She was the ninth child of a doctor who had lived during the days of the Second World War. Her father had made a lot of money but lost his wife after she delivered her eleventh child. Though he had remarried for the sake of the children, he had succumbed to the dreaded cholera when he had gone to one of the districts of the erstwhile state of Madras to prevent the outbreak from spreading any further. His poor children, of whom Maggie was only eight years old at that time, were shuttled from one relative’s house to another. The money the father had left them had been swindled by her four brothers, who did not bother to take good care of their female siblings and just dumped them in a missionary school with its own hostel.

The girls had grouped themselves together while in the hostel and took care of each other; standing together in thick and thin. The eldest sister who was nearly ten years older than Maggie had gotten married immediately after her schooling and thanks to her gentlemanly husband was able to take better care of her sisters. It was this eldest sister and her husband who had helped all the girls to get married, though Sunny’s mother did save money for her own dowry after she started working.

Sunny’s father Amos was the third child of four brothers. His father White Raja Kallam was a school teacher and Amos’ mother had occasionally done part time work. The family had had a hand to mouth existence and Amos had lived a very frugal life. The most Amos would have ever wanted during his school days in the late 30’s and early 40’s was fifty paisa to watch a silent movie and later the not so silent movies. Amos had been very regulated and controlled in all his doings, from a very young age. Being the third child the mother had not showered as much attention on Amos as she had on her first and last born. The second son had therefore become a rebellious lad while the third son Amos had been a conformist all along.

Amos’ three siblings were all well settled in decent jobs. While Amos and two others had entered Government service, only the second brother had become a professor and later went on to become a principal of a college in one of the southern provinces of Tamil Nadu. Amos’ parents had lived in a small town in the interior of the erstwhile provinces of Madras. Each of his brothers lived in small towns while the eldest brother lived with Amos’ parents themselves. It was only Amos who lived in Madras city, the capital of the state.

PROJECT TITLE: "BORN LOSER: LOSING TO WIN" - CHAPTER FIVE (CONTD)

The whole house remained silent. Suddenly she could hear the gurgle of the baby from somewhere inside the kitchen. She wondered what Chitra was doing with the baby inside the kitchen. She walked gently towards the kitchen & entered it at the exact moment of Chitra’s second orgasm as she madly kissed and sucked the penis of the baby in ecstatic fervour.

Chitra suddenly realized that someone was in the room. The blood drained from her face. By now, the mother had come right next to Chitra and witnessed the sight of Chitra’s open blouse & bare satiated breasts.

The mother fell into a kind of an after shock. She did not know what to say or do. She quietly took the baby from Chitra’s trembling hands & went into the bedroom where she put the baby back in its cradle while Chitra hurriedly tidied herself.

All thoughts of the languorous bath that she had dreamt off vanished from the mother’s mind. She quickly draped a saree around her to go with the blouse that she had slipped into. She went to the front door & spotted a street urchin loitering nearby. She beckoned him & asked him to fetch the milk-man from wherever he was & whatever he was doing.

When the Mother returned into the house Chitra had one look at her grim face. She immediately realized that she was doomed & that the mother had made up her mind to send her away. Chitra began to cry for she could not even imagine spending one day away from the baby.

The milk man arrived and was promptly informed of Chitra’s strange & perverted behaviour. On listening his eyes popped wide in disbelief. The mother hurriedly calculated the salary due to Chitra & handed it over to the milk man. She asked him to immediately take Chitra away. Chitra’s bag was hurriedly stuffed with her clothes including a couple of sarees that the mistress had bought for her and she was sent away immediately.

The milkman appeared pleased with this development. He felt his knowledge of Chitra’s behaviour gave him a kind of hold and power as well as control over her. He decided that he could use the services of Chitra as a concubine & satisfy her sexual needs as well. “The baby’s loss”, he thought to himself, “was the milk man’s gain”

When the Father returned home that evening the Mother informed him of the events that had unfurled during the day. What could he do, poor Guy? He could only vent his anger on his wife and berated her for not taking the maid to task by handing her over to the police. What an ignorant Man he was for then “the milk man’s loss would have been the police men’s gain”.

LOGUE:

I guess you will now understand my fascination for feminine breasts and how it continues to turn me on even until today. My lack of motherly love as expressed through breast feeding and my exposure to those awesome tits of Chitra have resulted in a fetish that continues till today.